i got back from mexico. it was fucking HOT but rained the whole time, and people there suck ass at driving, sorry to say. i must have smoked a pack a day though, since a pack of camels was $3. they don't even SELL them here, and smokes are $8-$10. i'm such a chump for savings, oh god.
anyway, i just hung out at the lobby bar for the most part. i am kind of tired of old southern men trying to pick me up tbh. like, i'm flattered, but WHY can't a guy even RELATIVELY close to my age hit on me? it has to constantly be old men from texas? i don't even mean like, 40 old. but hugh fucking hefner old. i'm really not interested in having threesomes with old guys and their wives to help them liven things up. "what's a pretty young thing like you doin' here all by yourself, why don't you come sit with me?" is not a fun thing to hear when you're drunk and alone.
i have some psychoanalyist thing on the 12th. let's hope i don't get locked up!
i hate her so much. i hate her drama. i hate her shit. i'm sick of her, i'm sick of the time my family wastes with that stupid crackwhore bitch. we had like 5 police cars, police dogs, and people getting arrested at like 4:00AM at my house. she still thinks it's a joke. lying cunt. she said she loved me, but like everything else IT WAS A LIE. i wish she was dead.
"Now it's time for my nightly ritual. Touch myself, weep, and repeat."
I am so in love with this show.
Don't know for how long. A few months, maybe more. No drama or anything, I've just decided to start concentrating on my education, instead. I'll still check my email periodically, though. So if you need me, do it that way.
I won't be going on messenger, either. Very rarely, at least. I just need to do without for a while! Clear my head.
Alright, well. Not going to go on about it. Bye for now, everyone! x
Sun, Mar. 5th, 2006, 11:31 pm
fuck the what
someone sent me a message on ebay saying i should be ashamed for selling fur on ebay. but, I DONT WEAR IT. it's an old piece and that's why i'm selling it, obviously. i could never wear fur, and i'm a big animal rights activist. ask anyone who knows me in real life, and they'll confirm how annoying i am, honestly! i cry when people kill bees!
i was moving my television and it fell and i bruised my collarbone. it hurts a lot! decided not to talk to people anymore unless they initiate it, for fear of annoying them or something. on a better note, i did this. YOU KNOW YOU ALL LOVE IT, STOP LYING.
Wed, Mar. 1st, 2006, 10:02 am
i've been having a lousy week, to say the least. a girl i thought was one of my good friends failed to invite me to her birthday party, obviously. it's stupid to get upset over it, really.. but it's like, i barely have any friends, and to find out the few you thought you had actually don't like you or whatever, it's painful. for some reason it was like some blunt realization and i couldn't stop myself from crying. not just about that, of course, but everything. i've just failed horribly at everything i've set out to do lately it seems.
i ended up breaking a promise to myself and my mother. it's been 2 years, and i broke it. i thought i was done with it, but i couldn't help myself, and i don't know what came over me. but no one was there. i didn't have anyone to talk to, and i'm tired of being alone. isn't there anywhere i can go? i feel like i have no one i can depend on to be there for me, and i hate that.
because i'll always be there for every single person i know. i know how it feels to be left alone. no one deserves it. :(
Sun, Feb. 26th, 2006, 04:17 am
woo dee woo
i got my hair done! it's cute, but plain. my bangs are all choppy now. i got bored of the hairdresser always drying it into this perfect sleek thing, so i washed it out when i got home and it went back to being wavy and normal... um, i'm feeling very happy about the condition of my skin right now. and i'm going to get my glasses tommorow, finally!!! AND i have my driver's test on sunday. wish me luck, please. oh oh, and diet starts right now. nnnow. p.s. i'm sick of all your emo bullshit, so all you fuckers just go home. YOU CAN'T MASK YOUR DEPRESSION WITH POINTLESS SHIT. i wish you weren't so sad all the time! i'll bet there are people that love you, even though you don't think so. your life isn't so bad.
i wish everyone was happy. i wish you were happy! i wish that everyone was back together. shit.
it's not even my concern, but i can't help but feel helpless.
i feel like, they were soulmates. my empathy scale is off the charts with this one. please, feel better.
what can i do when my friends are feeling sad?
even worse.. what if they're not my friends? i'm grasping at straws.
I've been going mad on ebay. I finally got an account and now, I'm just.. I bought "On Avery Island" LP, 3 cameras, some velvia 50 ISO film, etc. I need to stop. like now. it always ends up being way more with shipping. I only went on there to sell shit, too! :(